Learning to let go
Something I’ve learned so far in life is the importance of learning to let go.
No matter how much you wish things were different or wish certain people would change or were still around, simply wishing it so does nothing but use up your time and drain your energy.
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep reading the last one”
The Importance of Letting Go
When you hold onto thoughts and feelings from past events or a person who has moved on and is no longer in your life, the feelings surrounding it can grow and take control over huge parts of your life, holding you back and unable to move on.
Letting go gives you the understanding and acceptance of the situation as well as the freedom to move on from the pain and any other feelings you are stuck on.
Letting Go Of Anger
Staying angry at someone doesn’t affect their life anywhere near how much it will be affecting yours.
“Staying angry at someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”
The anger you feel inside you is affecting your body and mind, while the other person goes about their day unaffected.
This is why it is so important to learn to forgive and let go. It’s not for the other person’s benefit, it’s for you.
Don’t use up any more of your precious time feeling anger or frustration caused by people or events that can’t be changed.
Your life is now, right now.
All we can do is learn from these experiences and emotions and move on.
I spent a lot of time feeling resentment, frustration, and anger from seeing, hearing, and experiencing injustice and it took over me. I was getting headaches every day, my thoughts would automatically turn anything negative. Even watching TV I would pick out any tiny thing and find something wrong with it to moan either to myself or whoever would listen.
I was letting Anger poison me.
How to Let Go - In Simple Steps
The most important part. How do you actually let go of these feelings and emotions?
Understanding
Understanding what has happened and finding a why.
Now this can be very challenging in certain situations when it feels like there is no explanation or reasoning.
In these situations, I would open your mind to see the bigger picture, It may be your reasoning, and why is more like; this has happened because I am strong enough to move past it, or, I have been given this challenge to learn and grow to make me stronger.
*I will add these do not in any way need to be religious but instead guidance from the universe or whatever you like to think of it as.
Acceptance
Accepting that the past is the past we can not change it but we can grow, learn and move on from it.
Don’t dwell on what could have been or the many ways in which it could have played out differently.
Practicing grounding techniques such as meditations and breathwork can help bring you into the moment and realize the time is now, you are here and even though we can’t change the past we can shape our futures.
Do more of what you love
Focusing on things that bring you joy will not only boost your mood but will give your mind a break from overthinking and allow you to relax and feel connected to yourself again. You might find happiness in a book or meeting up with friends, whatever makes you feel good.
Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend in this situation
I’ve found this technique so helpful in many situations!
Of course, talking to a real friend is also a great option but everyone has different views, beliefs, and thoughts on things. Only you know how you feel and have experienced your emotions and feelings in the way you have.
By talking to yourself as if you were speaking to a friend you will find you show yourself a lot more compassion, understanding, and care.
This will help you unlock the other side of these feelings and give yourself the support and advice you need to hear because you are the one giving it!
Techniques I have found useful
Journaling
For letting go of an event or situation, I suggest writing down an account of what has happened, how it has made you feel, and how you wish it had been different.
Then re-read it and write a letter in response. Acknowledge and accept your feelings, reassure yourself, and remember to be kind.
Making a list
Make a list of anything you are holding on to.
Look over the list and anything you can change put a tick next to and anything you can’t cross out.
Now the things you have crossed out, you may not be able to change but you can change how you feel about them. How can you flip it around in your favor?
Maybe you are holding onto anger from years ago when you were fired unexpectedly. What good has or can come from it? Perhaps it has given you time to focus on other parts of your life, or maybe it made you realize how much you loved the job role and given you clarity on knowing you are in the right line of work.
Finding a reason, acknowledging, and accepting is key to being able to move past these events, relationships, memories, or situations that have become stuck in your mind.
Release Your Emotions
Whether it’s anger, sadness, betrayal, or a mix of many, you can learn to accept and put the thoughts out of your mind but if you don’t feel into and release all the emotions that have built up you will never truly let go.
One of the best ways to do this is through a guided meditation or guided yoga session.
If those don’t do the trick hear rage rooms are pretty good!
I hope this topic has been helpful. If you have any questions or something that you are stuck on and trying to let go of, share it in the comments below. Put it out into the universe that you are letting it go and as you click post feel it float away.
Alternatively my inbox is always open for support, advice and real-life ✌️
